Talking to the Moon.

I look outside my window, looking for the moon.
Wondering if someone will hear me out.
Speaking about how I feel,
what I did, what I want to do, what I want to achieve.
The Moon only knows my darkest secret, that I have not let out to anybody.

There's reason why I tell the Moon,
Cause the moon cant talk back with negative things to say.
It doesn't make mi feel bad,
It makes mi feel like I can trust something.
Nobody can keep a secret, nor a promise.
Everything just spread.
Like a disease.

It can kill a person.
It has killed me.
Everything I tell the moon is between Me and the Moon.
Nobody in between.

The Moon and I have a special relationship, where we can trust each other.
Everything in the world is cruel, even the humans.
We hate the same thing, We hate the problem people have.
The dumb ideas that come to mind.

Me and the Moon are like music.
Listen, hearing the melody, listening to other people on what they got to say,
and how they express their feelings.

Him?

He's dead inside, with no emotion.
He's not a relationship guy
He has an easy forgetting mind.
Its easy for him to forget a person.
He had a hard childhood.
He's a very cautious guy.
He has a mind of a very smart person.
He thinks things thro.
He's like a comedian.
He's like a teacher.
He's like a soccer coach.
He's like my therapist.

He's like my everything, my world.
He doesn't know it, he doesn't want to be that person.
I fell in love with this guy.
everything he does, is going to be complicated to forget.
everything we do, is unforgettable.
We have so much to lose it now.

I know this person more that I know myself.
I've been with this person more than anybody.
I know how it feels to lose a person, to even forget a person.
But this person cant be forgotten because he is my heart, and mind.
Can't stop thinking about this person, cant go a day without him.

Everything he does either haunts me, or makes mi happy.
He's doesn't know how bad he has hurt me,
with the things he did with other girls.
those girls can do anything in front of anybody,
but to me, it's like we have to hide behind a closed door for me to feel happy.
He's doesn't know how bad, I wanted to do things they are doing, what he does to them.
I can never have that, cause I'm no good.

I'm someone that he has to hide from everybody.
That is why I'm jealous.
But, you will never understand, how I actually feel about you.
Cause you're not the person.

You are a person who will leave me deing on the floor and not shed a tear.
You are a person who will easily forget about me.
You are a person who will make others happy.
You are a joker, not a lover.
You are a lier, fake, and dishonest.

What I love about you is your mind, life style, your dead emotion.
Your laugh, smile, face, hair, hands.
But, I guess it's different now.

What i Never felt.

When I was a girl, I thought dreams came true.
That fantasy were a play in your life,
That Love was true.
That friendship was everything in the world.
But, once I grew up lil by lil.
Dreams were a lie,
Fantasy were just scenes that you want to happen,
Love was nothing but lies.
Friendship were meant to be a ended.

Girls want to feel everything.
Love, wanted, missed,
I in other hands.
I just want to be Wanted and Missed.
I wanted other people to be fully honest with me.
I Never want to feel Love.
Cause all it does is hurt you, break you down, miserable, etc.

A guy came into my life,
and changes everything  on how I saw the world.
I Did felt something, but didn't know what it was.
I fell in love, but didn't felt love back.
I did care, but didn't felt cared back.
I was jealous, but didn't felt wanted.
I did worry, and that's the only thing I felt back.

My world is cruel.
But I still smile, on all the little thing that are wrong with me.

You? and I?

You Lied? I Cried.
You flirt? I Hurt.
You wanted? I Needed.
You Forgot? I Remembered.
You Promised? I Kept It.
You Stopped? I Started.
You were done? I was trying.
You Love Me? STOP LYING.

My last Day

I sit alone,
thinking of memories,
listening to dark music,
looking at pictures,
staring at the one you loved,
wondering if they will miss you,

Time past,
Its time to go,
take your last breath,
think the last thought,
blame the one that couraged you,

STOP! was a scream,
shouted out from the back,
you stopped and looked,
as you see his face,
he looked surprised,
he felt hurt for the first time,

Said my last words,
my life was ending,
as he ran,
he cried and screamed my name,

I took my last breath,
as he told me to hold on,
my eyes began to shut,
his tears ran down his cheeks,

As he called for help,
I took my last touch,
felt his soft skin,
whipped his tears,
run my finger down his arms,

He hold my hand,
told me the truth,
the way he felt,
the things he wont be able to do,

As I took my last sight,
he began to scream,
he began to cry,
telling himself it was his fault,

The last thing i heard
 "I LOVE YOU"
"I NEVER MEANT TO HURT YOU"
"I NEVER WANTED YOU OUT OF MY LIFE"
"YOU WERE MY WORLD, MY LIFE"

After I was gone,
he knew I said something,
"I'm sorry, I loved you and that hurted me,
you left me alone, you lied to me,
but just remember I will always look out for you,
I will always love you."

I thought he was the one.

That day and that night. was the best. I felt happy like if I was princess. We listened to music. we bonded. we talked, we laughed, we looked. As the day went fast and the night became darker. The moon shines its light on me. Felt like everything was real for once. I Stood there looking at the moon, thinking that one day we will be together forever. That I was going to be the only one. As you walked next to me, picked up my chin with your touch of your fingertips. Everything turning black, getting hotter. Soon our lips meet. Felt like everything in the world was stopping. We smiled and laughed again. Telling me why im happy. The smile on my face was big enough for him to know why. Since that day everything changed. Felt alive, like if I had some reason for me to live. As we said our goodnights, We smiled and I walked away. The night was beautiful. It was magical. the touch, the feeling, the high intense beating of my heart racing fast, your smile is beginning to stick. You think you are going to be with him.
All that feeling of being free, and happy. was just false. As the days go and the years past, things began to change. You started to be with others. I've felt dead inside. Like all my broken pieces were burning into ashes. Nothing could have saved me. Felt lost, alone, scared, and lied. You were my treasure, my gold, my world. Everything I've felt was for you only. I didn't care about anybody but you. I cared to much that it cried me to sleep. I envy them cause the things you do to them, makes me think im no good, that im just a lil girl that falls in love with a complete stranger. The way you touched them, hold them, kissed them, looked at them. Made me feel lost in my head. Like if I was just a warm up. You sleep with them. I cared. You hold them with comfort, I died. You kissed them with passion, my heart burst into flames. You looked at them, I was jealous.
As days past, you did the same. You lied to my face. You told me we had nothing. You told me we were just friends. You told me you weren't going to be with me. You told me I was nothing.
As hours go by. My face was swollen. My eyes were red. All the tears I shed. You finally told me you cared.
We were more than friends. You denied your feelings.
everything I do with you is still cherished in my mind and lips.
Nothing will breaks us apart.
Soon we will be together forever.